We need to suffer and we need to fight - Rafael Nadal on reaching Australian Open's 2022 finals. Experiencing failures in life is a common phenomenon for everyone. We all would have failed in achieving something or the other but what matters is how we bounce back from failures. After all, we are human beings, who are meant to commit mistakes, fail but importantly learn from it and come back stronger than ever.
I too have failed on numerous occasions in life but perhaps the most important failure was - CA Final examinations. Without second thoughts, clearing this level was going to be a life-altering moment for me and my family. But what made this failure memorable were lessons drawn from bearing the suffering, being open to explore other strategies, and being able to accept reasons for your failure. What was more important was to rise, work and shine.
Flashback to 2015, I had prepared well for my exams in May, so much so that I just wished it to be over as soon as possible. For the first time in years, it was time to live carefree without worrying about studies. Being confident of my success, I had even prepared my CV for circulation. D-day arrived, it was Thursday, 16th July when the results for CA Final examinations was to be declared. I took a day off and was patiently waiting to check my results. As message of few friends started pouring in, I too looked up to check my fate. FAIL - across both groups, no exemptions in any paper.
In that moment, the world stood still for me. I remember crying that night and hoping dad was there with me. Although, I did re-join my practical training the following day but I was living half-dead. For the next few days, there was complete silence in my house. It felt as if someone had passed away and there was a mourning period been observed. I started looking for faults in the course conducting authority like suggested answers, marking system, paper corrections, scaling of scores etc. I clearly recall having tears in my eyes as my sisters tied rakhi on my hand. Those were tears of embarrassment and anger at myself. After a week, I conveyed my decision to my family and CA partners that I would be drop out of this course, and lookout for something else.
My managing partner (Akshay bhaiya) was shocked to hear this and he offered some valuable advice to remind me of my dreams. My friend, Jayshree, was another person who happily shared her strategy. Their words of encouragement filled me with renowned energy. My first task was to stick out a paper in my cupboard which read: “I am born to be a CA, I will clear CA in Nov'15”. With anger and fright, I took out question papers of my term and started marking relevant sections within each subject that were tested. Idea was to basically identify sections that I had missed preparing for. To my surprise, there were numerous topics which I had completely ignored. The internal rage which was earlier there against authorities, had somewhat reduced as I now realized my shortcomings.
Another important aspect which required immediate attention was my mental health. As I approached my exams in May, I had started to feel mentally drained with all the preparations and my plan to remain secluded from the world. It is a very common dialogue among CA friends wherein each exclaims that they have completed at least x rounds of studies and y rounds of revision for each subject. Subconsciously, this registered in my mind too and I was desperate to turn this x and y into a respectable number. But this proved to be my biggest mistake. In the hurry of completing a subject or ticking a box, I was ignoring a crucial aspect - concept understanding and retention. To tackle this, Varsha didi, my cousin sister, suggested a unique strategy. She first suggested to study each subject daily (8 in our course) so that you are in touch with the concepts and naturally you can retain it. In order to achieve this, stick to a 2-hour plan per subject. No matter what, I had to move to a new subject after every two hours. Next, to get rid of boredom, she suggested alternating between a practical and theoretical subject. For example, I used to start with Accounts and then turn to Law followed by Financial Management etc. Initially, it was tough to stick to it but within a week I was used to this routine.
The pressure of answering a paper for over 3 hours is immense. It requires a lot of practice across all subjects, especially practical ones because we tend to take it lightly. Meanwhile, during exams, our hands shiver thinking what to write despite knowing the next steps. This time I started practicing questions on notebooks from practical subjects like FM, Taxation instead of just solving them over calculators. Another crucial hurdle in bouncing back from failures is not remembering where you previously made mistakes. Failing to do so means you keep on repeating the same mistake. After attempting each question and a test series, I used to encircle in red the sections/formulas/concepts I was making an error in. Every day, before starting my daily routine, I used to go over these mistakes and register the areas I need to be more careful at.
With 8 subjects to be tested upon within a span of just over 2 weeks, I understood that it all boiled down to two things. A) how well are you able to revise a night before the exam, and B) how well can you handle the pressure during those 3 hours. To tackle the first problem, I started marking out sections/questions that would require my attention. With each passing practice/revision, the number of markings came down as I now had confidence on my conceptual knowledge to sail me through. The only way to handling pressure for 3 hours was to attempt as many test papers, past papers in a time bound manner with a unbiased self-evaluation. I remember reaching a stage when I even asked a friend to set up the toughest DT paper which she could. I now felt confident, calm, without any mental pressure. All this while, my aim was to prepare so well that no number of tough questions and/or scaling can take me out of the list of passing students.
By the grace of God, I was healthy enough to appear in all the examinations and perform to my best. Two months later, on 17th January 2016, results were declared and this time as per my expectations I had cleared (marks, number of exemptions do not matter). I was filled with joy and immediately ran towards my mother in our puja room to share this good news. I had been dreaming about this moment and had pre-planned below status for social media:
"Cleared CA Finals both groups today! :)
This is for you Mummy, it's time to give you the world's happiness".
It was bouncing from failure that made this success even more special. Unconsciously it had prepared me for life and corporate way of work - which is all the days are not going to be same and you are not going to win on all the days. But it is important to be not bogged down by failures, be ready to suffer, fight and bounce back!
Poursuis Res Rêves - Chase your dreams!